Years ago, I was living in New York, broke as a joke, dating a professional makeup artist. Because of her work, she found herself in possession of two tickets to the Costume Institute Ball at the Met and invited me to join her.
THE Met Gala. Anna Wintour’s annual fundraiser. The biggest party of the year in New York City. Exclusive to A-list celebrities, models and moguls. And… me? Now, to be clear, I really felt like I had no business going to anything that fancy. I was so broke I would quite literally dig around in the sofa cushions to find quarters for cab fare! I had all sorts of excuses. “I don’t belong there.” “I don’t have the right clothes.” “I’ll make people uncomfortable.” “I’ll stick out.” And my excuses all felt valid! (I know now a lot of this was my inner Good Girl rearing her polite, don’t-want-to-attract-attention head). By the grace of the wardrobe gods, my girlfriend had a Givenchy dress that somehow fit me—pink chiffon, empire waist, marabou feathers. I didn’t have any shoes that matched so I bought some at Payless. (!!!!!) I had bleach-blonde regrowth, big glasses, and an extremely “What am I doing here?” vibe.
Background deleted to protect victims of 2005 camera technology. 😝
But you know what? I went. I stood in that ballroom with models and fashion royalty. And one of them complimented my dress!
It would’ve been so easy to turn down my girlfriend’s invitation. But I didn’t because I’d started doing the work. The work of unlearning the story that I had to be invisible, perfect, easy, small. That I had to be perfectly prepared before I did anything. The work of practicing a new story: There is no room I don’t belong in.
That mindset? It didn’t come from nowhere. It came from the same work we do in the Good Girl Recovery Program.
Learning to show up—even when it’s messy. Letting go of perfection—even when you feel underdressed in your Payless shoes. Deciding you’re worthy of that incredible experience —even when your brain says “not yet.”
This is your last chance to join us. Cart closes Friday, May 30 at midnight.
You don’t have to be perfectly ready. You don’t have to have it all figured out. You just have to want something more than staying quiet and holding it all together.
Pink marabou feathers forevvvvver, xxMarcia
P.S. You don’t need a pink feathered gown. Just a willingness to try something different. GGRP closes soon. We start June 3. Let’s do this!
Asking For What You Want
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