Hi Reader,

You know that advice people love to give:
​“You just need to trust yourself more.”

It sounds great in theory. Empowering, even.

But um...

How???

If you’ve ever actually tried to do it, you already know…it’s not that simple.

You can’t just flip a switch and start trusting yourself—especially if you’ve spent years ignoring your gut, dismissing your preferences, or overriding your needs to keep the peace.

Here’s what I know:

You can’t fully trust yourself until you become trustworthy to yourself.

That means showing up for yourself consistently. Listening when your inner voice speaks. Treating your instincts like they matter. And let’s be honest—that’s not always what you’ve been taught to do.

Instead, maybe this sounds familiar:

🥴 You get a weird feeling about someone and immediately launch into a closing argument for the defense.
(They’re probably fine. I’m probably overreacting. Maybe I’m just being judgmental.)

🫢 You know you don't want to do something, but you agree anyway because saying no feels like creating a whole situation.
(I don’t want to make things awkward. It’s probably not a big deal.)

🤔 You notice something doesn’t add up in a situation, but you assume you must be the one missing something.
(Maybe I’m just overthinking it. Maybe I’m too sensitive.)

😣 You know what you want—or need—but you brush it off as selfish, needy, or inconvenient.
(Other people have it worse. I should just be grateful.)

These moments might seem small. But they add up.

Each time you override your instincts, abandon a need, or dismiss a preference, you chip away at your own self-trust.

Every time you abandon yourself, your brain takes notes.

"Oh. Apparently we're not listening to us."

Do that enough times and eventually you stop believing your own signals. After a while, “trusting yourself” feels out of reach.

The good news?

You can rebuild that trust.

Here are a few places to start:

5 Ways to Start Rebuilding Your Self-Trust 💪

1. Pause and check in before you commit.
   ​Before you say yes to something—big or small—take a breath and ask, “Do I actually want this?” ​Even if you don’t act on the answer right away, noticing that you have a preference is the first step back to trust.
   ​
2. Validate your inner “no”.
   ​You don’t have to shout it from the rooftops, but when something feels off, let yourself know you believe yourself.
   ​You don’t have to know all the details about why. A simple “Something doesn’t feel right here—and that matters” goes a long way. Say it to yourself, even if you’re not yet ready to say it to another person.
   ​
3. Track what you know to be true.
   ​Start a little note in your phone or journal called “Things I Knew.” Every time you sense something and it turns out to be true—even after the fact—write it down. This helps to train you out of your self-doubt. You’ll start to see something new take shape: “I am not crazy. Something in me knew this.”
   ​
4. Notice when your body says no—even if your mouth says yes.
   ​Your body is often more honest than your social conditioning.
   Did your stomach tighten? Did you freeze up a little? Did you hesitate? Those signals are golden. You don’t have to know what to do with them yet. But do start noticing.
   ​
5. Celebrate when you listen to yourself.
   ​Every time you honor your gut, speak up, or act in alignment with your truth—pat yourself on the back. ​Even silently saying, “Look at that. I had my own back. Good job.” helps rewire your system to recognize “This is safe. This is good. Let’s do more of that.”

This is exactly the kind of work we do inside the Good Girl Recovery Program.

Over the course of a year…

👉 We practice listening to ourselves after years (or decades) of outsourcing authority to everyone else.
👉 We explore what it means to have needs, wants, preferences—and to treat them like actually valid data.
👉 We rebuild trust with small, grounded choices that say: Hey, I’ve got you. (No “empowerment” cliches here!)

If you’re ready to stop abandoning yourself in the name of being good, agreeable, or liked…

You’re not alone—and you don’t have to do it alone, either.

You can become someone you trust.

And you deserve that.

With love,
Marcia