Hi Reader,

A couple of days ago, I sent the first sample from my upcoming course, What You Really Really Want.

Today I have another one for you! You can read it below, or ​​​listen to it here.​​

But before you do, I’ll remind you that registration is now open.

👀 ​See what’s included here​ ​​👀

Here’s today’s sample.

Something that fascinates me is the endlessly creative ways people can find to beat themselves up. Our inner critics are quite clever, but also kind of stupid. They come up with all kinds of reasons that we are terrible, no-good, very bad, and it’s easy to think they are right, until we take what the inner critic says and look at it under the clear light of day.

Let’s take this old chestnut: “I need to learn how to receive.”

Have you ever said this to yourself? If so, let’s pause and think about it a little more clearly. 🛑💭

Babies are born knowing how to do one thing: How to receive. They reach out with every fiber of their being, and ideally, are met with tenderness, care and affection.

So you already know how to receive. You were born knowing it.

It may be the case that as you grew, you reached out and were not met and did not get the things you wanted or needed. You learned to stop reaching out.

Or, you got what you reached for inconsistently, so you learned not to trust that it was coming or you worried that it would be taken away.

But neither of those things are issues with actually receiving.

Those are issues about what you ask for and how often, and the reliability of other people.

👉 You still know how to receive.

The real issues I see with “not knowing how to receive” are that:

☝️ A lot of folks seem to believe that they are supposed to be grateful for whatever is offered.

✌️ And then they make themselves wrong when they can’t be grateful.

But that’s also not an issue with receiving. The problem here is that you have internalized the idea that you’re supposed to take whatever other people happen to throw your way… whether or not you actually want it.

I see people contort themselves trying to want the thing that is on offer, whether it’s:

🛏️ bad sex
🎁 mediocre gifts
👂 half-hearted listening
👗 clothes that don’t fit quite right
📉 inconsistent attention
💸 raises that don’t cover the rise in cost-of-living
🙄 being called a “hero” instead of addressing working conditions

…or something else.

You bend over backwards trying to make whatever is on offer acceptable to you.
When it feels hard, you think there’s something wrong with you.

🧶 It’s like putting on an itchy sweater, and then believing you’re “bad at wearing sweaters” because it feels bad.

You are not bad at receiving.

🚫 YOU ARE NOT GETTING WHAT YOU WANT.

If you don’t want what is offered, it’s not a flaw in you.
It’s just that you want something different. 💡

You don’t have a problem with “receiving.”
You want to receive what is good for you.
What living creature doesn’t want that? 🌱

Of course, there are times when what you want is not available, and others try to at least give you something because they like you, love you, and/or want to keep you around.

As a grown-ass adult who knows you won’t always get what you want, it’s appropriate at times to value the effort someone is making, even if it falls short of your desires.

However, this becomes a problem when you are always justifying why it’s okay, even when others consistently fall short—and make yourself wrong for not being able to “receive properly.”

This undermines your ability to notice what you really really want. And it reinforces the idea that you want the wrong things, or want too much, when in reality, you probably want a lot of very reasonable things.

You have an inherent capacity to receive that you were born with, that you can trust and lean on.

Can you expand that capacity? Yes.

It helps to have other people offer you more of what you want. This can happen by asking for what you want, and also by surrounding yourself with people who seem genuinely interested in finding out what you want, even when you don’t know how to articulate it.

But the inside job is valuing and trusting your own desires as:
✨ worthy
✨ important
✨ specific to you

This means stop convincing yourself that you want what you don’t actually want— and start listening to what is bubbling up from inside of you. 🔥

What if you’ve never been bad at receiving—just really good at trying to make do?

You don’t have to do that anymore.

If you're curious what it’s like to listen to and trust your desires—and even follow them—What You Really Really Want is for you.

​Join us before we begin this weekend.​

Warmly,
xxMarcia